Today is the feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. We reflect on this day that Jesus was part of a family just like all families. They ate together, cleaned together, worked together, visited relatives and in general, lived with each other. On this feast day – we look to the Holy family as a model for our families.  But, hey, Mary was born without sin and Jesus, well, he is God.  That means Joseph was just surrounded by so much grace all the time he probably never even lost his temper!

I don’t think anyone would mistake my family for the Holy Family! We fight, talk over each other and are strong willed and crabby sometimes. We are impatient and short tempered, but we do get one thing right. We love and forgive each other. 

One of the greatest lessons I learned over this past year was when my Mother in Law was put into Hospice care and died a few days later.  The family sat down with the hospice care nurse and as she observed this big, opinionated, boisterous, loving family she gave us one bit of advice.  “Be Generous with each other.”  The choice of the word generous is what hit me.  Not patience or tolerance, but generous!

We often think of the word generous as applying to a monetary value.  Give generously to the church (or to WINE) and that is a very good thing, but to ‘live’ generosity is something quite different.

In the entomology (original meaning) of the word generous it says:

1580s, ” from Latin generosus “of noble birth,” figuratively “magnanimous, generous,” from genus (genitive generis) “race, stock” (from PIE root *gene- “give birth, beget,” with derivatives referring to procreation and familial and tribal groups).

Secondary senses of “unselfish” (1690s) and “plentiful” (1610s) in English were present in French and in Latin.

So, the word generous comes from the same root word as gene “give birth” – and relates to family and noble birth as in familial and tribal groups. It’s only in the secondary meaning that it means unselfish or plentiful.

How often is it that we are the least generous with our family. We know each other’s faults and know how to hurt each other.  It seems I have time and patience for everyone but my family.

In the days after my mother-in law was put into hospice, the family had decisions to make, exhausting care and life in close spaces. Everyone was grieving differently and we all had to understand that my way of coping may not be another person’s way.  We allowed that for each other.  The grace of generosity was evident.

It is that sort of generosity we need to keep every day. 

Give that sort of generosity to your family and those closest to you.

The act of being generous literally starts with family. 

This year, make a new resolution.  Be the most generous to your family or those you live with.

AND – give generously to WINE, we are after all… family! (tax deductions for 2017 until midnight!)

p.s – And tomorrow (January 1) is my birthday! I hope my family is generous with me!

It is the start of the New Year  and we may or may not have made our New Year Resolutions.  Many people make resolutions to lose weight, exercise or save money, but what about our spiritual lives?
Here is a list of 10 Spiritual Resolutions that can change your life!

1. Pray Every Day. Some of you may already to this but if you are like me sometimes in the morning rush I miss out on my 10 minutes of prayer with a promise to myself to get to it later.  Start the new year right and get up earlier and start the day with prayer.
2. Pray Before Bed.  Just like starting your day right, it is important to end your day right. The Examen or Evening Reflection was written by St. Ignatius Loyola. It is five simple steps to reflect on your day that will change your 2018.

• Remember God’s presence.
• Respond to Him with thanks.
• Reflect on how God showed Himself to you.
• Repent of your failings.
• Resolve to grow. 

3. Keep a Prayer Journal. God’s presence is all around us but we sometimes don’t recognize it.  Keeping a prayer journal is a great way see His work your life. Never done it before? It is easy. Take a few moments after prayer to jot down your thoughts and anything that has been revealed to you in your prayer.  Take some time weekly or monthly to look for themes in your life and prayer.  Jot down the names or situations you are praying for, notice God’s responses, give thanks for answered prayers.
4. Go to Confession. Centuries ago, it was customary to begin the New Year with a spotlessly clean house. Thus, houses were thoroughly cleaned as it signified a fresh start to the New Year. A clean house is good, but what about a clean soul? Start the new year right and get to confession! Better yet, resolve to go once a month! In addition to confession think about relationships you may need to heal. It might be a co-worker, friend or family member.  The way to lead in any situation is to lead with your own vulnerability.  It may be hard to take the first step and you may not get the result from the other person that you wished for but resolve to place humility above pride and people above being right.  It is a way to start the new year with a clean house and soul.
5. Spend Less Time with Your Computer or Phone. This may sound like a secular and not spiritual resolution but spending less time on screens and more time with people (or in prayer) will improve your spiritual life.  There are some great things on facebook and on the internet but if you find yourself wasting time scrolling or in envy of other’s lives then you are not living your own life abundantly!  “I have come so that they may have life, and have it abundantly” John 10:10
6. Read Spiritual Books. Spiritual reading plays an important role in our lives. Just as our bodies need exercise and good food, so do our hearts, minds, and souls.  For women - I recommend signing up for the  Read Between the WINE’s Book Club or check our recommended reading titles.
7. Plan a Retreat. Just like planning a vacation for your family, planning a retreat for yourself needs to be a priority.  The new year is a great time to make those plans.  They can be as simple as spending a day at a nearby convent or monastery or taking a week long overnight retreat. Check with your priest for some suggestions. One of my favorite places is Pacem in Terris.
8. Give. Plan to give of yourself this year. The old adage of time, talent and treasure is not just a ploy to get you to volunteer for the church or give money to keep it running.  Giving of ourselves is an expression of our love to God and all he has given us – which is everything!  When I had been suffering from a bout of depression, my priest suggested I volunteer at a homeless shelter or food shelf. It knocked me out of my own self-pity when I saw lives less fortunate than mine.  When cash is short – I am reminded that I am richer than 90% of the planet and even when my life is crazy busy, I think how difficult it would be if I spent the day looking for food to eat to survive.
9. Rest and Sleep. On the 7^th day God rested and so should we. Sleep and rest is healing. Check out this post by Fr. Mike Schmitz on getting enough sleep. To give ourselves the time to rest we may need to make room in our lives, so in comes #10.
10. Say NO. We all should pattern our lives after Mary’s great “Fiat” by saying yes to Jesus. But saying yes to one thing may necessitate saying no to others.  In the WINE companion journal to Lisa Hendy’s book “The Grace of Yes” I wrote “The other lesson that I have learned in the grace of no has been that my well thought out “No” leaves open a yes to other things.  I heard a priest friend of mine answer the question about his celibacy to a group of teenagers when they asked him how he could have decided to become a priest and say “no” to a wife and children.  His response was.  “When a man does decide a “yes” to marriage that automatically means a “no” to all other women in his life.”  In that way a yes becomes a no to other things and a no becomes a yes to new possibilities. “