Today is the feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. We reflect on this day that Jesus was part of a family just like all families. They ate together, cleaned together, worked together, visited relatives and in general, lived with each other. On this feast day – we look to the Holy family as a model for our families.  But, hey, Mary was born without sin and Jesus, well, he is God.  That means Joseph was just surrounded by so much grace all the time he probably never even lost his temper!

I don’t think anyone would mistake my family for the Holy Family! We fight, talk over each other and are strong willed and crabby sometimes. We are impatient and short tempered, but we do get one thing right. We love and forgive each other. 

One of the greatest lessons I learned over this past year was when my Mother in Law was put into Hospice care and died a few days later.  The family sat down with the hospice care nurse and as she observed this big, opinionated, boisterous, loving family she gave us one bit of advice.  “Be Generous with each other.”  The choice of the word generous is what hit me.  Not patience or tolerance, but generous!

We often think of the word generous as applying to a monetary value.  Give generously to the church (or to WINE) and that is a very good thing, but to ‘live’ generosity is something quite different.

In the entomology (original meaning) of the word generous it says:

1580s, ” from Latin generosus “of noble birth,” figuratively “magnanimous, generous,” from genus (genitive generis) “race, stock” (from PIE root *gene- “give birth, beget,” with derivatives referring to procreation and familial and tribal groups).

Secondary senses of “unselfish” (1690s) and “plentiful” (1610s) in English were present in French and in Latin.

So, the word generous comes from the same root word as gene “give birth” – and relates to family and noble birth as in familial and tribal groups. It’s only in the secondary meaning that it means unselfish or plentiful.

How often is it that we are the least generous with our family. We know each other’s faults and know how to hurt each other.  It seems I have time and patience for everyone but my family.

In the days after my mother-in law was put into hospice, the family had decisions to make, exhausting care and life in close spaces. Everyone was grieving differently and we all had to understand that my way of coping may not be another person’s way.  We allowed that for each other.  The grace of generosity was evident.

It is that sort of generosity we need to keep every day. 

Give that sort of generosity to your family and those closest to you.

The act of being generous literally starts with family. 

This year, make a new resolution.  Be the most generous to your family or those you live with.

AND – give generously to WINE, we are after all… family! (tax deductions for 2017 until midnight!)

p.s – And tomorrow (January 1) is my birthday! I hope my family is generous with me!

It is the start of the New Year  and we may or may not have made our New Year Resolutions.  Many people make resolutions to lose weight, exercise or save money, but what about our spiritual lives?
Here is a list of 10 Spiritual Resolutions that can change your life!

1. Pray Every Day. Some of you may already to this but if you are like me sometimes in the morning rush I miss out on my 10 minutes of prayer with a promise to myself to get to it later.  Start the new year right and get up earlier and start the day with prayer.
2. Pray Before Bed.  Just like starting your day right, it is important to end your day right. The Examen or Evening Reflection was written by St. Ignatius Loyola. It is five simple steps to reflect on your day that will change your 2018.

• Remember God’s presence.
• Respond to Him with thanks.
• Reflect on how God showed Himself to you.
• Repent of your failings.
• Resolve to grow. 

3. Keep a Prayer Journal. God’s presence is all around us but we sometimes don’t recognize it.  Keeping a prayer journal is a great way see His work your life. Never done it before? It is easy. Take a few moments after prayer to jot down your thoughts and anything that has been revealed to you in your prayer.  Take some time weekly or monthly to look for themes in your life and prayer.  Jot down the names or situations you are praying for, notice God’s responses, give thanks for answered prayers.
4. Go to Confession. Centuries ago, it was customary to begin the New Year with a spotlessly clean house. Thus, houses were thoroughly cleaned as it signified a fresh start to the New Year. A clean house is good, but what about a clean soul? Start the new year right and get to confession! Better yet, resolve to go once a month! In addition to confession think about relationships you may need to heal. It might be a co-worker, friend or family member.  The way to lead in any situation is to lead with your own vulnerability.  It may be hard to take the first step and you may not get the result from the other person that you wished for but resolve to place humility above pride and people above being right.  It is a way to start the new year with a clean house and soul.
5. Spend Less Time with Your Computer or Phone. This may sound like a secular and not spiritual resolution but spending less time on screens and more time with people (or in prayer) will improve your spiritual life.  There are some great things on facebook and on the internet but if you find yourself wasting time scrolling or in envy of other’s lives then you are not living your own life abundantly!  “I have come so that they may have life, and have it abundantly” John 10:10
6. Read Spiritual Books. Spiritual reading plays an important role in our lives. Just as our bodies need exercise and good food, so do our hearts, minds, and souls.  For women - I recommend signing up for the  Read Between the WINE’s Book Club or check our recommended reading titles.
7. Plan a Retreat. Just like planning a vacation for your family, planning a retreat for yourself needs to be a priority.  The new year is a great time to make those plans.  They can be as simple as spending a day at a nearby convent or monastery or taking a week long overnight retreat. Check with your priest for some suggestions. One of my favorite places is Pacem in Terris.
8. Give. Plan to give of yourself this year. The old adage of time, talent and treasure is not just a ploy to get you to volunteer for the church or give money to keep it running.  Giving of ourselves is an expression of our love to God and all he has given us – which is everything!  When I had been suffering from a bout of depression, my priest suggested I volunteer at a homeless shelter or food shelf. It knocked me out of my own self-pity when I saw lives less fortunate than mine.  When cash is short – I am reminded that I am richer than 90% of the planet and even when my life is crazy busy, I think how difficult it would be if I spent the day looking for food to eat to survive.
9. Rest and Sleep. On the 7^th day God rested and so should we. Sleep and rest is healing. Check out this post by Fr. Mike Schmitz on getting enough sleep. To give ourselves the time to rest we may need to make room in our lives, so in comes #10.
10. Say NO. We all should pattern our lives after Mary’s great “Fiat” by saying yes to Jesus. But saying yes to one thing may necessitate saying no to others.  In the WINE companion journal to Lisa Hendy’s book “The Grace of Yes” I wrote “The other lesson that I have learned in the grace of no has been that my well thought out “No” leaves open a yes to other things.  I heard a priest friend of mine answer the question about his celibacy to a group of teenagers when they asked him how he could have decided to become a priest and say “no” to a wife and children.  His response was.  “When a man does decide a “yes” to marriage that automatically means a “no” to all other women in his life.”  In that way a yes becomes a no to other things and a no becomes a yes to new possibilities. “
    
    

Ode to St. Francis or Knock Knock Pudden Head!

I love learning about our saints in our Catholic tradition.  We have a plethora of them and there are still so many that I still need to get to know.  Most of us never have heard of  St. Apollonia, the patron saint of dentistry or St. Drago, patron saint of coffee houses and unattractive people. (Weird huh!)  I think we could spend a lifetime learning about these saints and learning from their lives. 

There is a danger though in these times of sound bites and tweets.  There are well known saints that are known by name but our society seems to have trivialized them into caricatures of themselves.  St. Francis of Assisi seems to have gotten caught in this trap much like Saints Patrick and Valentine.  The secular and common understanding of theses saints paint the picture of their faith that is incomplete.  Contrary to popular belief, St. Patrick is not the saint of green beer and St. Valentine is not the CEO of Hallmark. Their lives are much deeper and richer than that. 

Today you can see statues of St. Francis in gardens and paintings of him surrounded by animals.  Many churches include blessings for pets and farm animals on his memorial.  These are great things and are derived from the life of St. Francis, but if we end up believing that Francis’s life was about butterflies and flowers then we are missing the point of why he is a saint and how we can use his life to model our own. 

One of my favorite stories about St. Francis is about how he heard Jesus speak to him and tell him to “rebuild my church.”  Of course, he gathers materials like bricks and stones to rebuild the chapel in the hillside that had been in disrepair.  Eventually God says to him, ‘Knock knock pudden head, I meant the people, not the building.”  (That quotation of God talking is my own interpretation because I often sense God is saying the same to me.) 

How many times in my thoughts have I felt a movement to act on behalf of what I think God may be asking me to do without proper discernment.

I seem to have a temperament like Francis, and this is why he makes a great teacher for me when I study his life in a deeper way.

Francis preached about returning to the Church, and obedience to the Church.  Obedience has never been a strong suit for me so I look to Francis.

I look to St Francis when I need courage.  After using his father’s materials to build the chapel, his father took him to authorities.  Instead of bowing down to his father to go back to his materialistic way of life, Francis threw off his rich clothes and walked naked through the streets – well not totally naked. The bishop saw him and covered him with his own cloak. After this, his father disowned and disinherited Francis.

Following the will of God through obedience and humility are some of the lessons I learn from Francis above and beyond his friendship with the animals.

Today I will ponder how I can live a radical life following Christ and doing God’s will.  Am I prepared to trust in God to provide if I follow Him?  How can I (and you) discern, ponder and follow Christ in a deeper way with greater trust.  Beyond the flowers and butterflies, God calls us to be saints!